Saturday, October 22, 2011

The SL,UT Project: part 1

I woke up this morning needing to DO something, so I put in my ipod, packed my bag, and trekked it down to the Trax stop. It was about halfway there that I had a vision. What if I took a little part of my week to not study and actually go somewhere besides my dorm and the library? What if every Saturday I visited a new place in Salt Lake that I have never been to? What if I took pictures of it? What if I blogged about it? What if I became a rocking tourist in my own town? And what if I called it the SL,UT Project? (Because I will stop laughing at that joke when it stops being funny--never.)

So here we go. 

Today I decided to visit the Gilgal Gardens. I hadn't heard of this place until I read a newspaper clipping about it at work, and I immediately investigated. Turns out it's super close to campus--located at about 749 East and 500 South. It's right behind Hire's Big H and the Wonder Bread Factory, so it is both hidden and delicious-smelling. 

The Gilgal Garden was designed and built by Thomas Battersby Child, Jr., beginning in 1945 (it used to be his backyard). It's basically this menagerie (Did I use that word right? Whatever.) of bizarro religious sculptures including a sphinx with the head of Joseph Smith, the statue from King Nebuchadnezzar's dream, and a funky self-portrait. And way more. It is free for the public, and is open for visiting from 8 am to 8 pm from April to September, and 9 am to 5 pm October to March. More information can be found right here.
I didn't think to bring my camera before I left today, so the following pictures have been stolen from the internet.

Then I ran to the City Library, because I have only been there once before, and was excited to get a library card. A library card I will surely never use, seeing as I work in a different library, but whatever. It felt good. There was also some kind of book sale going on, so I got a cheap copy of The Essential Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe, just in time for that part of the year when it's always cloudy and all the trees are dead and I like to get my morbid on.

Speaking of morbid, the City Library is having a Dia de los Muertos celebration on Oct. 29th, which I think sounds pretty cool. Someone should go and decorate a sugar skull for me.

Those were also cyber-thieved. So there you go. More to come, for sure. And I would love suggestions, too. And if anyone wants to have some urban adventures with me, shoot me a text.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Third graders are hilarious, part 3

Reading from a book of Halloween jokes...

Andrew: What kind of animal do ghosts ride? I'll give you a hint. It's in your dreams.
Me: Um... a boogie man?
Andrew: No, a nightmare. Get it? 
Me: Oh, yeah. I get it.
Andrew: But the boogie man is the king of your nightmares.

"How do I know this isn't another dream? Wait a minute. All my teeth are loose. This is real." --Tracy

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Third graders are hilarious, part 2

Andrew: Have you ever seen a piranha, Miss Anderson?
Me: I have, in an aquarium.
Andrew: Did you know if you ran into a piranha, it would lap up all your flesh?
Me: All my flesh?
Andrew: Including your bones.

Andrew: Did you see our new class hamster?
Me: I sure did. What's his name?
Andrew: We haven't voted on a name yet, but I think he needs three names.
Me: Like a first, middle and last?
Andrew: Yes. I already thought of them. Fuzzy Tissue Sleeper. Because he is fuzzy, I saw him eat a tissue once, and he likes to sleep. See what I did? I looked at his personality, and I used it to help me pick three names.

Liz: No, I told you, your lizard cannot be the musical guest.
Tracy: Of course not. His album doesn't drop until December.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Bucket List (perhaps someday starring Morgan Freeman)

I fully realize that the "bucket list" trend is becoming somewhat of a cliche, but I am taking mine very seriously. So here is my bucket list--slightly edited for the public--green ones completed.

Before I have a family
-Develop a habit of drinking enough water everyday
-Develop a regular exercise routine
-Learn a considerable amount of sign language
-Do a study abroad
-Learn to wear high heels with ease
-Become comfortable riding a bike around the city
-Do some cool henna thing 
-Become comfortable sewing clothing
-Learn to like whole wheat 
-Participate in some kind of study

Before I die
-Visit every inhabited continent
-Learn how to make sushi
-Learn how to knit
-Do something adventurous with my hair
-Become fluent in a foreign language
-Be able to play the Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin all the way through
-Own and pay off a house
-Maintain an attractive figure
-Meet one of my favorite celebrities (Tina Fey, Paul Simon, Matt Damon, Morgan Freeman, Dustin Hoffman, etc.)
-Feel comfortable eating at fancy restaurants
-Know off the top of my head how to make at least one dish for every course of a meal
-Go to New York 
-Own a pair of (real) sassy glasses
-Become proficient at styling hair
-Own all of my favorite books
-Spend a night in the Plaza Hotel

"But there was so much left on my bucket list. So many kinds of buckets I wanted to own." --Tracy

Third graders are hilarious, part 1

While making leaf prints:

Andrew: I love art. I would do anything for art. Even give up my exercise.

Andrew: You know what the scariest kind of plant is?
Me: No. What?
Andrew: The Venus fly trap.
Antonio: I have a Venus fly trap. They eat bugs.
Me: Plants shouldn't be able to do that, should they?
Antonio: Well, Venus fly traps are, like, ten percent animal. Yeah, probably five or ten percent.

Lola: Wow. Good job tracing those leaves, Miss Anderson!

During a reader's theater:

Teacher: And then Noah, I brought you some butterfly wings to put on for this part.
Noah: (groans)
Mike: And then make him wear a dress!

Teacher: So at that part, Noah, go ahead and shake your wings.

"If you get rich off this stuff, just take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college."  --Tracy

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Doorbells and sleighbells and schnitzel with noodles.

I'm on a list binge, I guess.

All the time I'll find myself saying seeing something and saying, "That is one of my FAVORITE things." I finally decided to start writing them down. So if I were Oprah, and you picked up a copy of O Magazine, and you opened up to the favorite things page, here is some of what you would find:

-Little boys with spiked hair.
-Kids wearing dress up clothes in public.
-When people on SNL can't keep it together.
-Getting on Facebook and having 1 new friend request, 1 new message, and 1 new notification.
-Lady park rangers. Actually, all park rangers. Ladies are just especially adorable.
-Little kids in glasses.
-Men who look terrifying but are really nice.
-Dogs who look terrifying but are really nice.
-Making a to-do list of things I've already done, and checking each item off the list.
-General authorities with accents.
-Junior high girls who look super awkward, but you can tell will be gorgeous in, like, three years.
-Couples where the lady is taller.

There will definitely be more.

"I love foxy boxing. It combines two of my favorite things: boxing and referees." --Tracy